A little bit of math humor never hurts

Here are 25 of my favorite math jokes... ENJOY! 

1. Why are 6’s afraid of 7’s?

     Because 7, 8, 9 (Seven ate nine).

2. How do you know a plant belongs to a math teacher?

     It has square roots.

3. What did the Whole # say to the fraction?

     You crack me up.

4. Why do math books cry?

     Because they have so many problems.

5. What does an acorn say when it grows up?

     Geometry (GEE, I’m a tree)

6. What is an occupied bathroom called on an airplane?

     A hypotenuse. (high pot in use).

7. What do all sixteenth century mathematicians have in common?

     They are all dead.

8. When do mathematicians die?

     When their number is up.

9. What is a good looking angle called?

     Acute.

10. If you had 12 potatoes and had to divide them among 5 people, how would you do it?

     Mash them.

11. If you faint, what number will revive you?

     They will have to bring you 2.

12. What is a metric cookie called?

     A gram cracker.

13. What runs and runs and never gets anywhere?

     A clock.

14. Why do math teachers talk to themselves?

     They think someone is listening to them.

15. What did the calculator say to the cashier?

     You can count on me.

16. What is the new chemical symbol for water?

     HIJKLMNO. (H to O)

17. Why isn’t your nose 12 inches long?

     Because it would be a foot.

18. When does a math teacher wear dark glasses?

     When he has bright students.

19. What is a polygon?

     A lost parrot.

20. If your parents asked why your grades were so low in January, what could you tell them so they wouldn’t be upset?

     That everything is marked down after Christmas.

21. Why does a mathematician take a ruler to bed?

     To see how long he slept.

22. Why are mosquitoes good mathematicians?

     They add to misery, subtract from pleasure, divide attention and multiply rapidly.

23. Why is arithmetic so hard?

     Because of all the numbers you have to carry.

24. Two trains are on the opposite ends of a railroad track traveling toward each other. Engineer A is going 50 mph, Engineer B 40 mph, where will they meet?

     In the hospital.

25. How is math like love?

     It’s a simple idea, but it can get complicated.

Taken from hanlonmath.com